The Movies of William Castle

If you’re a kid, William Castle is the king of the horror movie! As the master of the gimmick, he’s known for the vibrating chairs of Percept-O vision, glasses that allow you to see ghosts on the screen that were otherwise invisible, and Emerg-O, where ghosts would fly out from the screen towards the audience!



 

Macabre Movie Poster

Macabre (1958)  

This William Castle classic is filled with eerie black and white images of cemeteries at night and begins with a warning for the audience: if your neighbor starts to panic, get medical help immediately!

The premise isn’t a nice one. A child has been kidnapped. The missing girl, Dr. Barrett’s daughter Marge, just turned three.

First we set the scene: A child’s coffin has been stolen from the funeral parlor. Ed, the director is in a lot of debt from gambling.

Rich old millionaire Jode Wetherbee will be burying his daughter Nancy at midnight. He’s lost two daughters suddenly, Alice, and now Nancy. Why at midnight? He says she lived in darkness, died in darkness… and she’ll be buried in darkness.

Police Chief Jim Tyloe never got over Alice Wetherbee’s death. He loved her even after she went and married the town doctor. (Sheriff Tyloe is played by Jim Backus, who also later appeared in Castle’s Zotz!)

The Sheriff tells the Doctor, Rodney Barrett, to get out of town. A good doctor could’ve saved Nancy. Just like with Rod’s own wife, Alice. (He was out drinking that night she died in childbirth, out with a woman who was not his wife, but is now his fiancee!)

The small town practice’s secretary and nurse Polly Baron seems to have a crush on the good doctor, but his new fiancee Sylvia feels that Polly is getting the wrong impression. (Polly, on the other hand, feels Sylvia is using Marge as a stepping stone for her own ambition.) “Polly’s more of a mother to her than your fiancee is.”

They gloss over some adult content when Doctor Barrett’s flame comes to him, pregnant, and asks for an abortion. (Was this produced after the Motion Picture Code?!)

The chessboard of motives and resentment is laid out in the first ten minutes of the movie, the perfect setup for a suspense thriller! Then the phone call comes. The good Doctor gets an anonymous call claiming “Marge’s funeral has just taken place, and now she’s with the dead!”

The voice says the little girl’s not dead. “She’s in a big casket for her… might have four or five hours left…”

The catch is that the hunt for the child must be done in secret! Rod can’t call the police. Jim Tyloe would do anything to hurt him, even let Marge die, he believes. (Others agree: if anyone finds out, they’ll stop Rod.) He won’t even let the housekeeper tell grandpa Wetherbee… his heart condition and all. Rod and Polly must scour the graveyard for upturned earth by themselves!

“She’s with the dead…” Did the kidnapper hide Marge in the bottom of the grave already dug for Nancy or is the cemetery just a red herring? The funeral home? The sheriff catches them breaking and entering, their only excuse is that they were preparing for Nancy’s midnight funeral, so Rod becomes trapped as a pallbearer as the clock ticks away. How many ways will the search be sidetracked? We sweat through the suspense! Everyone is a suspect! We are treated to some foreshadowing of Mr. Sardonicus at the very end!


The Gimmick

Dying of Fright Life Insurance: Castle had Loyd’s of London insure the life of every theater patron should they die from fright during the movie. An expensive gimmick, but luckily no one died!

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Haunted Hill Movie Poster

The House on Haunted Hill   (1959)  

The quintessential haunted house movie begins with screams and introductions by two disembodied heads. The music is a creepy vocal: imagine a horror version of the Star Trek theme. The SoCal mansion is very unlike an old Queen Anne or Italianate (like the Psycho house) that you’d expect. (It’s actually Frank Lloyd Wright’s Ennis House, located just outside L.A.)

Frederick Lauren has rented the House so his wife (his (em>fourth wife, scandalous!) can throw a “Haunted House Party”. But he’s put a spin on it. $10,000 dollars to each guest who can spend the night.

The guests are driven to the party in funeral cars led by a hearse. (Frederick’s wife’s idea. Her sense of humor is… unique.) But they aren’t her chosen guests; (Annabelle says Frederick’s jealousy has driven away all their friends,) Lauren has gathered an interesting cast of characters who are all in desperate need of money:

In addition to Frederick Lauren and his wife Annabelle, there are: Lance Schroeder, a test pilot in need of money; Ruth Bridges, a newspaper columnist (and gambler), who wants to do a feature article on ghosts; Watson Pritchard, whose brother was killed by ghosts there… (but why does he accept the challenge after he himself was found almost dead in this very house?) Dr. David Trent, a psychiatrist who claims the night will aid his research on hysteria (or is it just greed?), and Nora Manning, a (very pretty) employee of Mr. Lauren who needs the ten thousand badly to support her own family. The most interesting thing about the players is that none have ever met Mr. Lauren in person.

Seven people have been murdered in the house. None of the murders were ordinary stabbings or shootings; all were bizarre. Grisly. Four men and three women (just like the seven guests,) were killed in house and er… two heads were never found.

One previous owner filled a vat in the wine cellar with acid and threw his wife in. It’s still full (as evidenced by the dead rat Pritchard throws in.) A chandelier falls! They discover a blood stain on the ceiling that never stops dripping. Lauren lays out the deal. Locked in at midnight, bars on the windows, no phone, no one leaves till morning. Party favors are loaded pistols in coffin-shaped goodie boxes.

Anabelle is overdressed for the party, and she and Frederick banter to set the tone of their relationship; joking about headlines: “Playboy kills wife with champagne cork…” He hesitates. She says, “I haven’t poisoned it.” “Good to know.”
“Would you go away for a million dollars? No, You want it all…”
“If ever a man had grounds for divorce… remember the fun we had when you poisoned me? Arsenic on the rocks.”
“Darling, The only ghoul in the house is you.”

Lance and Nora check out the cellar, and Lance gets bonked on the head! But they find a secret passage, and Nora sees a frightening old witch’s ghost shriek by! Then she finds one of the heads! The ghost ends up being the caretaker, Jonas Slag’s blind wife. The head disappears… but keeps turning up!

Pritchard starts drinking. He starts ranting about how the ghosts are going to do them all in. Anabelle hangs herself in the main staircase… and her hanging ghost keeps turning up! Organs that play themselves, hairy arms that swipe from the shadows. Intrigue! Plot twists and even a walking skeleton!

I highly advise watching this in the original black and white, though there is a colorized version. Castle’s daughter gave the go-ahead to reproduce the movie in 1999 (as well as 13 Ghosts in 2001).


The Gimmick

Emerge-O: Castle strung a fake skeleton from the ceilings of the theaters and when one appeared on screen, the bone nightmare would swoop out over the audience!

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Tingler Movie Poster

Tingler   (1959)  

Doctor Warren Chapin, coroner-for-hire, has dedicated himself to the study of fear. Many cadavers twisted by spinal pressure have come to his attention. What could be the cause? Lucy, his step-daughter? has fallen in love with Dr. Warren’s assistant David. Warren is married to a wealthy but unfaithful woman, the ruthless Isabel, who holds her inheritance as control over her daughter Lucy.

Dr. Chapin discovers a parasitic organism he calls The Tingler! The Tingler can only be harmed by one thing: a human scream. Of course, Isabel sets her husband up to be killed by the creature after drugging his scotch and leaving the cage open. She skips town, but Lucy comes home just in time to save her father… with a scream!

When Dr. Chapin is introduced to a woman who is deaf and cannot speak, a woman who is not able to express her feelings of extreme terror and is therefore subject to fainting, he learns she also has an extreme fear of blood. The plot gets dark when the mute Mrs. Higgins is frightened to death (by a sink running crimson in a black-and-white movie!) because she can’t scream. The doctor is conveniently on-hand to remove The Tingler just at the point of death. It’s still alive!

The woman and her husband run a mom-and-pop movie theater specializing in silent films. Guess what gets out of the cage and loose in the theater? Everyone… scream! Scream now, your life may depend on it! The silly rubber prop pulled along by a string is laughable, and part of the William Castle schlock we love. Vincent Price gives a straight, quality performance that carries the film.


The Gimmick

Percept-O: The most notorious of Castle’s gimmicks, many of the seats in theaters running the movie (the setup was left to the owner’s discretion,) were wired to vibrate… and gave the audience a real electric tingle!

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13 Ghosts Movie Poster

13 Ghosts   (1960)  

Cyrus Zorba, a destitute museum docent, inherits his rich uncle’s mansion after his son buck makes a birthday wish and the candles are blown out by a supernatural wind. Mysterious Uncle Plato was an occultist, and the family also inherits Plato Zorba’s collection… of ghosts! Magic ghost viewing goggles are included, but no money. But there is a secret fortune in cold hard cash hidden somewhere in the house since Uncle Zorba liquidated his entire estate!

When Cyrus and Hilda’s son Buck and his sister Medea ask a Ouija board “Will they kill us?” a mirror almost falls on them! The planchette floats into Medea‘s lap. “Don’t ask it when,” she says. Cyrus finds a secret laboratory and is attacked by a flaming wagon wheel mystery ghost! His hand is burned!

The spirits truly are dangerous. But Butch accidentally discovers the hiding place of the treasure! Suspiciously, Ben Rush, the estate’s lawyer and executor, tells him to keep it a secret while he snuggles up to Medea. The suspense begins when Buck is almost murdered. Was it a ghost? The housekeeper?

Spirits fighting in the kitchen foreshadow scenes from Castle’s The Spirit is Willing and introduce his signature flying meat cleaver embedded in the wall!

This is possibly the most perfect spooky old house mystery ever! Their ominous housekeeper, the witch Elaine, is played by Margaret Hamilton, and the twelfth ghost is Uncle Plato Zorba himself!

Murder! Spirit boards! There’s even a bed like the one in the Wilkie Collins story, too. Music by Von Dexter is great, but I wonder what the movie would have been with a Vic Mizzy soundtrack. Don’t go into a William Castle movie expecting high cinematic art. This is a live-action comic book, so take it for what it is, and enjoy the fun!

This movie was remade in 2001, with a completely different script, though retaining the Zorba name, but fully authorized by Castle’s estate.


The Gimmick

Illusion-O: Castle utilized a 3-D style overlay where you needed to wear red filtered glasses to see the ghosts on screen. If you used the blue filtered glasses, the ghosts would be filtered out… if you were too chicken!

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The Ghosts

 

1. Screaming Woman
2. Clutching Hands
3. Floating Head
4. Flaming Skeleton
5. Emilio
6. His Wife
7. Her Lover
8. Executioner and Severed Head
9. Hanging Woman
10. Lion
11. Headless Lion Tamer
12. Dr. Zorba
13. ?

 


 

Homicidal Movie Poster

Homicidal (1961)  

Castle mentions all of his previous films in his intro. A beautiful young protagonist we want to like, It comes out of nowhere. The Mystery: What made such a nice lady into a killer? Why did she involve this bellhop? Why was this man in particular singled out for murder?

S is a ladies companion, and her change is –, a mute invalid who bangs an old door knob on her wheelchair to show her annoyance. She returns home just after a well-planned getaway (she had a car waiting) and she becomes a not-so-nice lady. She is abusive to –, and the first thing she whispers in her ear

m Died today, and when he died… He SCREAMED!

Slowly the history is revealed, the woman in the wheelchair was once the caretaker of the man who owns the house (C, who is on the h of his 21st birthday,) and his sister, Ellen. when she was young her freakishly big-headed brother took her toys from her. They’ve reconciled now. On A’s birthday he will inherit all of his father’s money. It goes to their cruel and abusive father’s first born son. C recounts how father used to fight with him to make him a stronger man, and how he ordered Helga to beat him with a short whip when he got out of line.

A’s florist shop is vandalized, her brother’s picture ruined. Is M somehow jealous of the relationship A now has with her brother? But she’s dating S, a local pharmacist.

Alan and the town doctor discuss the murder of the Justice of the Peace in the nearby town after police come by asking questions. You see, the murderess used A’s name on the marriage certificate. The police sketch looks just like D. And then D. threatens to kill A. and tells her… she was secretly married to her brother, A! He confirms it’s true!

L drives down to show a picture of D. to the police detective and some witnesses, but that leaves Helga and S home alone with a vengeful murderess on the loose!

Time for the Fright Break!

You can leave the theater if you get too scared. ( when some people left asking for a full refund, Castle decided to introduce a gag where, if you left, you’d have to sit in a “chicken chair”, humiliated in front of the entire theater!)

There is a twist ending, if you hadn’t guessed. But I won’t give it away. It has a sickeningly happy ending, though. It’s OK. While not one of Castle’s best or most suspenseful, it a great murder mystery for a late night date.


The Gimmick

The Fright Break Before the climax of the film, patrons were given an opportunity to leave the theater, receiving a full refund. …Of course, they had to wear a “chicken” dunce cap first!

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Mr. Sardonicus Movie Poster

Mr. Sardonicus   (1961)  

REVIEW


The Gimmick

Gimmick: Description

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Zotz! Movie Poster

Zotz! (1962)  

REVIEW


The Gimmick

Gimmick: Description

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13 Frightened Girls Movie Poster

13 Frightened Girls (1963)  

The daughters of diplomats at Miss Pittford’s Academy for Young Ladies get caught up in international intrigue! Candy Hull has a crush on an intelligence officer in her father’s employ, but he hasn’t been getting the goods lately and may get sent away. She can’t have that, so Candy takes on the moniker “The Kitten” and uses her good friend Mai-Ling, daughter of the Chinese ambassador to gain intel, saving Wally’s reputation… but making herself an internationally targeted spy!

“Kitten has to be someone we know, but someone we’re not even aware is around. Someone, well… someone like this kitten. Nobody pays any attention to a kitten do they? Except to pat it on the head and forget it.”

Candy keeps stealing the boyfriends of Ilona, the German ambassador’s daughter for gossip. Of course, Kitten soon finds herself too close to being exposed and is nearly thrown from a skyscraper ledge (by the leader of the Russian Student Party, of course). When an American intelligence woman known only as “Soldier” (and Wally’s real love interest, despite Candy’s crush on him,) is captured by the Chinese, she relies on her friendship with Mai-Ling again, but she feels used when she discovers her friend’s secret identity. So she fingers her! Assassins chase Candy, but all the Miss Pittford’s Academy girls come to her rescue!

Despite the 1963 racist depiction of the Chinese Oddjob-style enforcer with round, bottle-lens glasses, each of the girls was portrayed by an actress from their own native country to the best of Castle’s ability. Notwithstanding, this movie is very definitely a product of the cold-war era.


The Gimmick

Thirteen Foreign Actresses: Castle advertised for actresses from each of Castle’s trademark “13” countries to portray the daughters of diplomats. In the end, not all of the United Nations was represented and not all parts were successfully cast with actresses native to the countries they represented.

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The Old Dark House Movie Poster

The Old Dark House (1963)  

Not to be confused with the wonderfully gothic 1932 film with Boris Karloff, (also based on Benighted by J.B. Priestley,) this parody is a light-hearted “Old, Dark House Mystery” starring Tom Poston (from The Bob Newhart show: Newhart, and my favorite episode of Thriller,) Janette Scott, and Fenella Fielding, the “smoking hot” actress from Carry on Screaming! (1966). This campy “horror-comedy” movie runs along the same lines as The Spirit is Willing and The Busy Body. The opening credits art piece is by Charles Addams. We also first hear the Vic Mizzy Night Walker soundtrack!

On the premise of delivering a new car to his half-time flat-mate, Casper Femm, (and meeting his beautiful cousin,) Tom Penderel is invited to his friend’s ancestral home on the moors where no one may leave or they forfeit their share of the family fortune. But on this Xth anniversary of Uncle X’s hanging for piracy, someone is knocking off the competition! “I need your help. I’m afraid.” Casper admits, setting the tone for this tongue-in-cheek version of Clue reminiscent of Castle’s earlier classic The House on Haunted Hill.

As Tom arrives at the crumbling Welsh estate, driving a once-spotless car through the mud, a stone lion falls on the engine stranding him there. He notices the flag atop the tower flying at half-mast. Why? Casper died just before Tom arrived. He “fell down the stairs.” Next, when Tom rings the front doorbell, a Scooby-Doo-style trap door drops him into the cellar!

Casper has been laid out in the family room below a leaky ceiling. We are gradually introduced to the quirky, maladjusted family: Uncle Potiphar, who has built a full-sized ark in the back woods, fully stocked with animals… including a room for Tom and Morgana (not Cecily?); Uncle Roderick, who is a grim trophy hunter and has a gun collection that comprises an entire room; Agatha Femm, the elderly matron of the family; Morgana, a steamy, gorgeous seductress who sets her eyes on Tom; and Morgan, her father, a brute who doesn’t talk and is highly protective of his daughter; Jasper, Casper’s twin, who scares Tom when he appears to be his dead brother walking; and the lovely Cecily, the pretty, well-adjusted “Marilyn Munster” of the family whom Tom came to meet.

Uncle Jasper and his domineering way is the obvious suspect for who is killing family members. He explains that when their pirate ancestor retired to the marshes, he had specified that his fortune was left “to the house” and that each of the family must return to the dining room by midnight each night or forfeit their share of the inheritance until the house “dies.”

An ominous voice recites eerie nursery rhymes that echo throughout the house. There are a series of murder attempts. Morgan chases Tom into a pool of quicksand during a slapstick chase scene, Agatha is killed, then Jasper is found dead. When it becomes evident who the killer is, a race to find every clock in the house begins. Bombs have been attached to each one to ensure the death of the house in flames! (Hammer Films/Columbia).


The Gimmick

Gimmick: Description

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Straight-Jacket Movie Poster

Straight-Jacket (1964)  

Stronger than William Castle’s usual fare, and another script written by Robert Bloch, Straight-Jacket isn’t a film for kids. Arguably classifiable as film noir, Castle wanted to prove he could make a successful movie without gimmick, using an established, top-billed star (though he did hand out cardboard axes at the theater.) Creepy Night Gallery style paintings set the tone during the opening credits.

Lucy Harbin returns from a trip a day early only to discover her husband in bed with another woman, and appropriately gives them both the axe! Unfortunately, her daughter Carol witnesses the whole sordid ordeal. Lucy is found guilty by way of insanity and gets twenty years in an asylum. The movie picks up as she is released into the care of her brother Bill Cutler who has been raising her daughter Carol in Lucy’s absence.

Although slow-paced, especially in the beginning, Joan Crawford delivers a roller coaster of tension that carries the movie. The action picks up as Lucy slowly descends back into madness as dismembered heads appear in her bed, then the voices of children reciting a jump-rope rhyme, using her name substituted for Lizzie Borden’s, make her an offer of insanity she can’t refuse.

Oddly, the daughter is offered no psychiatric counseling as her mother returns home. The flashbacks would be unbearable, I imagine. Of course with no transitional aid for Lucy either, the institution sends a doctor who determines she must return to the hospital. (They need the state aid, I’ll wager.)

But the axe falls again! Poor Dr. Anderson. When the farm hand, Leo, figures out whose car is hidden in the barn, he attempts extortion (for a free car that he moronically chops with a paint brush,) but dives into the freezer without a head! Next, Carol’s fiancee Mike invites her entire family for dinner and his parents reject the idea of marriage. That’s just the last straw. The climax (and a few other scenes, to be sure,) is reminiscent of Hitchcock’s Psycho. Though the twist ending is no shock, its delivery is satisfying.


The Gimmick

Proving Castle Has The Chops to Play it Straight: This time, just to prove a point purposely, Castle made a great film without corny carnival side-show huckstering, but he did hand out cardboard axes at the theaters, and the film’s success owed a lot to the aging headlining actress. It ended up coining a new genre of “hag-horror” !

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Night Walker Movie Poster

The Night Walker (1964)  

Possessive and wealthy Howard Trent is blind, but not to what he believes his wife Irene is up to behind his back: an affair with his attorney Barry. Irene talks in her sleep about her desire for her lover, but he exists only in her dreams. One night, after an argument over Howard’s jealousy, his upstairs electrical laboratory explodes (doesn’t every millionaire have one of those?) His bones are never found, consumed in the extreme heat.

Mrs. Trent, having inherited her husband’s wealth, moves back into an apartment at the back of a hair salon that she still owns in order to escape nightmarish dreams where she can hear Howard’s cane tapping and see the lab explosion. Her dream lover comes to her there, in real life (or is it?), and takes her on a surreal date… where he marries her! In the morning, awake, Barry drives Irene to the scene of the nightmarish nuptials, but the chandeliers and wax dummy guests are gone. Is she going insane?

This seems way too much like an Old Time Radio plot where someone is trying to drive his wife crazy. But it was Howard’s money to begin with… and he’s dead, right? Nope! He appears to Irene, his cane tapping, his blind eyes glowing, the side of his face horribly disfigured by the fire! Originally titled “The Dream Killer,” written by Robert Bloch. The soundtrack will live in your head for decades.


The Gimmick

Reputation: Castle relied on the status of his lead actors (Robert Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck) and the authorship of Robert Bloch to carry his advertising campaign. He did not really use a gimmick for this film.

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I Saw What You Did Movie Poster

I Saw What You Did (1965)  

At an isolated farm miles outside of town, surrounded by dark woods, teenaged Vicki Mannering, her little sister Tess, and Libby Austin are home alone while Vicki’s parents have a night out. They won’t be back till morning. (Pick up at 11:30, says Lib’s father!) So what do girls do in the early 1960s when they are bored? Make prank phone calls! (This was back in the days of operator switchboards and party lines and you could get away with stuff without having your number digitally traced.) Vicki puts on her most sultry voice: “I saw what you did, and I know who you are.”

What the girls don’t realize is that the number they dialed, Steve Marack’s, is a home in which a scene from Psycho has just taken place. Steve has just murdered his wife. Across the road, Amy (Joan Crawford) watches him drag the body out to the car… but that’s OK, because now she and Steve can finally be together!

Clueless, Vicki decides she’s got to meet this mystery man. “No one gets out of the car!” she insists, sneaking everyone out in her mom’s car on her driver’s permit, yet why did she put on lipstick? When they arrive, guess who gets out of the car to peek in the window? But a jealous Amy catches her! She confronts Vicki, shoving her back into the car and tearing off her mom’s registration! What will Vicki tell her folks? They’re all gonna get it now!

After the 11:30 pickup, Libby hears a radio broadcast on the way home: a woman reported seeing a man digging a grave to bury a body in the woods. Meanwhile, an apologetic Steve drives all the way out to the farm to return the registration, but overhears Vicki talking with Tess about the murder over the phone. He climbs in the window and takes a knife from the kitchen! The game is afoot! Another William Castle trademark flying butcher knife– right at Tess! Do not miss the scene where Steve’s hand rises from the back seat as the car refuses to turn over! His hands close around her throat…

Starring Joan Crawford and John Ireland. The soundtrack, by Van Alexander, has a similar modern, jaunty air to the Vic Mizzy theme from Castle’s last film. The movie was adapted from the novel Out of the Dark by Ursula Curtiss. (-Not- to be confused with I Saw What You Did Last Summer.)


The Gimmick

Seat Belts: Castle promised that seat belts would be installed in the theater because people would be “scared out of their seats!” but he never followed through.

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Let's Kill Uncle Movie Poster

Let’s Kill Uncle (1966)  

A twelve-year-old named Barnaby makes a friend aboard a cruise while under the care of a police Sergeant who is to deliver the boy into the care of his Uncle Kevin, who is a spy. Given all the tall tales Barnaby tells, how could Chrissy believe Barnaby’s claims? But they’re true. When they arrive Barnaby and Chrissy meet a catch-man (a fishmonger) with no legs while exploring the off-limits ruins of an island hotel and Chrissy almost falls into the old pool… that houses a live shark!

Barnaby’s uncle arrives by plane, and is all he was expected to be. Except he’s out to kill Barnaby! He hypnotizes Barnaby to kill himself by jumping off a cliff, telling a story about the ancient criminal Triad, but no one believes a tall-tale telling boy! Uncle Kevin starts messing with Barnaby’s head. “Think of it as a game Barnaby,” he offers. He will never hurt him while in the house… think of it as Switzerland, a neutral country. He explains that the boy is worth $5 million to him. Chrissy comes up with the idea. There’s only one solution: “Let’s kill Uncle before he kills us.” It’s setup after setup: poison mushrooms, tarantulas… The Sergeant’s gun goes missing. The final showdown takes place in the abandoned hotel ruins as Uncle hypnotizes both Chrissy and Barnaby to jump into the shark pool!

The movie follows a similar formula as Thirteen Frightened Girls; a young professional man and woman are there for romance, but offer little to save the kids who get involved in political intrigue far over their heads. In color. A fun, strategic thriller, but slow-paced even for it’s time. Chrissy is played by Mary Badham, from To Kill a Mockingbird.


The Gimmick

None. Sadly, here it seems Castle has abandoned the attention grabbing tricks he is known for.

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Busy-Body Movie Poster

The Busy-Body (1967)  

This Sid Caesar vehicle with theme music by Vic mizzy that carries the pace is a kind of whodunnit based on a book by Donald E. Westlake (and rather obviously cash in on the popularity of schlock like It’s a Mad Mad, Mad Mad world). The poster reads, “All this movie has is: sex, gangsters, strippers, a million stolen bucks, three stiffs in a coffin… and some of the other little happenings in life.”

Because of his classy dressing habits, George Nelson is promoted to the Board of a company that manufactures wax fruit. As a cover. When another “Board member” named Archie Brody accidentally blows himself up barbecuing, he is buried in his blue suit… that has a million dollars stitched in the lining! Castle revisits the theme that made Sardonicus grimace. When George is forced to dig up the grave, he finds it empty. What happened to the million bucks? A slapstick chase ensues, filled with people hiding in coffins, Castle’s signature thrown butcher knives, bungling hitmen, and of course phone calls from Mom.

The mortician turns up dead, and a mysterious widow named Margo Kane (a sizzling Ane Baxter,) shows up while hunting down the funeral home’s assistant mortician who had been mysteriously fired. Brock, (really a hairdresser,) then gets offed by a man in purple suede shoes. An under-utilized Richard Pryor plays Police Lieutenant Whittaker, pulled into the mystery, following corpse after corpse on a trail that always seems to bring him back around to G.N. and his dapper hat.

Meanwhile, someone by the name of Rose has lit a fire under George. He tells The Boss (Robert Ryan) George is on the take… so the boss takes George for a ride. Though Archie’s wife can provide some comfort after his escape, Mr. Rose points the way right back to Mrs. Kane. You see, she needed a body for a grift of her own, and Archie’s corpse was… available. The storyline keeps us guessing: has Bobbi, the showgirl wife of the deceased, had the money all along? Did Kane and her husband (who’s name is not Kane, but Murray Foster, and is actually still alive) find the money in Brody’s jacket? If so, why kill the mortician? How does the suede-shoed man fit in?

The movie moves along at a decent pace, but it’s pretty long. If you like Sid Caesar, it’s a fun romp suitable for kids, (innuendo only,) but may be too slow for kids of this generation.


The Gimmick

Gimmick: Description

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The Spirit is Willing Movie Poster

The Spirit is Willing (1967)  

REVIEW


The Gimmick

Gimmick: Description

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Project X Movie Poster

Project X (1968)  

This low budget science fiction is my least favorite of Castle’s productions. Adapted from the novels The Artificial Man (1965) and Psychogeist (1966) by L.P. Davies. The opening credits are just color blocks, which is disappointing after the Charles Addams painting from The Old Dark House and the nightmarish montage from The Night Stalker. The door sound effects from Star Trek feature prominently.

In the future (2118), a spy named Hagan Arnold must be raised from cryogenic freeze. There is intelligence that Sino-Asia may be mass-producing male babies, and after Arnold disappears, a transmission of his voice is received warning: “The West will be destroyed in fourteen days!” The problem is that although he escaped and has been repatriated, his memory has been obliterated by a failsafe formula used only when great pain is inflicted on an agent captured by the enemy. The formula has never been successfully reversed before.

Military scientists imbue his mind with a new personality matrix, but they need to keep him put until his memories can be returned. Memories will arise from subconscious so they recreate the era he was a historian for (1968) with museum replicas and laser holograms. But how to keep him holed up by choice? They set him up to believe he’s a bank robber!

The doctors and scientists all take their parts in the programming as they watch the feed from his brain, but phone calls from outside the Matrix seem to threaten the project. It’s Gregory Gallea, another agent who was missing for two years when Arnold was sent in. and he warns Arnold to get out. He reveals that the head scientist, Doctor Crowther has bartered an alliance with Sen-Chiu, leader of Sino-Asia, selling out the West! Has Crowther tricked the military into giving him the ability to eliminate Arnold’s mind, the West’s only hope?

One day Karen Summers, an incorrigible factory worker, happens to wander into the ‘set’. She’s playing absent from work… but she’s not the only one who wandered into the living history complex. Someone fires a laser gun at her and Arnold!

Poorly animated cartoon sequences (by Hannah-Barbera!) define flashbacks to what Arnold learned when he went undercover to infiltrate the enemy and was captured in Sino-Asia. (This movie is just chock full of racism.) We watch as he boldly faces off with Sen-Shu, then escapes with his co-pilot… Gallea! Right at the critical juncture of the memory restoration project, Arnold‘s subconscious appears at the military complex as raw energy and attacks! The scientists must pull the remaining memories from the disembodied brain of a dead man!

The plot is convoluted and the cartoon sequences come off as tacky as if this were a made for TV movie from the years when science fiction was strictly the realm of kids, yet the political depth makes it inaccessible for the junior-high audience that is often Castle’s target for comedies.


The Gimmick

Depictography: “The actual working of the mind through depictography and holograms.” Flashback sequences were done by Hanna-Barbera, with a rocket-jet escape sequence from a Johnny-Quest-style underwater base! This is reminiscent of the original Lord of the Rings movies where animation was superimposed on live-action for a disturbing effect.

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Shanks Movie Poster

Shanks (1974)  

REVIEW


The Gimmick

Gimmick: This unique art film stands alone as its own kind of “gimmick”. A mime portraying a puppet master with long stretches of time with no dialogue. And Marcel Marceau speaks.

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