Courtney Crumrin – Series Book Review

Crumrin House was the first built in Hillsborough. We learn this from a little beastie named Butterworm, who is its oldest inhabitant, direct from the old country. Courtney moves into the stately old mansion with her shallow, gold-digging parents who believe that her Uncle Aloysius will soon need looking after given his age. Aloysius isn’t really the one who needs looking after, though, it’s Courtney who needs a sight of mentoring as she tries out some of the spells in her uncle’s ancient library books.
 
Courtney runs away from some bullies after her first day of school, and right into a goblin… who eats the only kid who will speak to the new kid. But the resourceful young lady soon discovers unique solutions for both bullies and goblins that end with her on top.
 
The lonely, outcast girl also learns that you should be careful what you wish for, because you might get it. Uncle Aloysius takes his niece under his wing and instructs Courtney in the reversal of spells. Too bad she can’t reverse what happened to the little bully girl.
 
Courtney goes on to solve a problem with a doppelganger that has replaced the infant she is babysitting, also turning the situation to her benefit in the creative way one would expect of a Crumrin. In order to get there, she has to take a trip through the underground Goblin Town, where the Faerie Market offers its alluring food and drink that she was duly warned against. In this chapter we are introduced to Boo, a wise black cat who offers Courtney some assistance… or does he?
 
In the last chapter, we see that Courtney has overcome her challenges and is settling in to her new surroundings, dangerous as they may be. But she’s not entirely ready to be on her own. The next challenge is to face herself. While Uncle A. is out of town, Courtney has her own trouble with a double taking her place. But it’s nothing a fiery little Crumrin can’t handle with a little faith in herself.

Something horrible from the bottom of the marl pit has dredged itself up from the murk to devour the warlocks of Hillsborough. But is something guiding its choice of meals?
 

They’d say, ‘Don’t stray too near the marl-pit, or ol’ Rawhead ‘n’ Bloody Bones’ll pull yeh in. But thing ‘bout ol’ Tommy, sometimes you don’t need to go near the pit to find ‘im. Sometimes ‘e comes out.

 
The Council of Warlocks runs to Aloysius for his help, as all the other powerful residents of the town have been eaten. The thing seems to be immune to even the strongest magic. But Uncle deals with the situation with dispatch. That’s just the beginning of the mystery, though.
 
The next chapter is unrelated, but possibly the best story in the series. Certainly my favorite. Boo and Quick, the familiar of Courtney’s school teacher, Miss Crisp, honor Courtney by inviting her to a gathering of cats, something even her uncle has never been privy to. Tobermory, the leader of the prides, it seems, has lost an eye in a fight with the hound that was protecting the Hall of Wonders at Radley Hall. There is a contest to see who will be his successor. Whoever catches the Will-o-the-Wisp will win. Though Boo is a contender, Mittens is deadly.
 
During the chase, Courtney meets a creature of Faerie in the woods who is being hunted by a Marshall of The Council, Hector Hughes. She saves his life, having found something special in his eyes. Later she learns his name is Skarrow, when Uncle A. offers him sanctuary.
 

…’An when he wants blood,there’s nothin’ can stop ‘im. No spell, no curse… no magic, however powerful can protect yeh from ‘im… His fingers can reach up drainpipes… Even though he’s a great huge bugger, ‘e can fit ‘isself into the teensiest places.

 
The third act opens with Madam Hermia Harken barfing up frogs. It was her familiar, her “little minion” that Hector was hunting. Woodrue and the rest of The Council believe Skarrow is responsible for her curse. Since Hermia was once Aloysius’ student, he believes that the curse was meant to silence her ,and that Skarrow is innocent, but he must prove it in a trial. Who would want to cover their tracks and for what? Why does the Council have Hermia locked away at Radley Hall?
 
Courtney’s going to find out. There’s no way she’s going to let them take Skarrow. Butterworm’s little brother Butterbug and an ‘inside man’ help her bypass the magics guarding the Hall of Wonders. (Luckily, their ‘slavering hound’ is strangely missing…) Then she goes to the Goblin market for some grocery shopping where she runs into that mean black bat guy again, but ends up meeting Skarrow’s mother, the Duchess. When she gets home she uses her magic stuff to learn a secret directly from the source.
 
The climax of the story is a tempest of tragedy, deception and horror. Courtney bypasses her Uncle and takes justice into her own hands. The ending left my jaw agape.
 
This book reminds me very much of Neil Gaiman’s writing. But it even outdoes the best I’ve read of his. I can’t express how much I love this story. It’s intelligent, irreverent, feminist and frightening all at once. I found this to be the most rewarding installment of the entire series.
 

Screw the ordinary world.

Templeton, Woodrue’s son, has been following Courtney. He has evidence of her recent doings, and is convinced she is utterly evil.
 
Courtney begins a special Saturday school at Radley Hall (Also home of the Warlock’s Council.) Miss Calpurnia Crisp, her regular school teacher, (and newly appointed to the Warlock’s Council, thanks to a recent opening for a position as a Marshall,) will also be teaching her there. Because the last teacher got eaten by a hobgoblin, apparently.
 
The first day we learn that the Coven of Mystics was founded by three women, but primarily by Ravenna, who was already living on the land of an army colonel named Crumrin long before the village of Hillsborough was settled. Ravenna taught the ways of witchcraft to Serenity Carter and Ursula Wilson, who taught their children, and soon, there were witches and warlocks all over the countryside. Col. Crumrin left his land to a man named Nicholas, to whom it is believed, Ravenna taught her greatest secrets. When the last of the three woman died, the Council was formed as a more official sort of leadership.
 
At Radley Hall, Courtney discovers the magical kids there are no smarter than the public school kids. One of them put a curse on his brother and turns him into a goblin. When it doesn’t wear off, guess who he and his cadre of young witch friends go to for help. The only cure? A trip to the Faerie realm. Butterbug, Butterworm’s little brother, guides the way.
 
The kids, like Courtney was at first, are overwhelmed, and soon find themselves captured and distributed throughout the kingdom. The ringleader, Blake Trianne, is saved from a cell where he is locked away and Chas is saved from an oven. Courtney saves poor Vanya by visiting her old friend, the Dreadful Dutchess (the mother of Skarrow). She has a ball coercing the little black bat goblin to tell her where they all went.
 
The final rescue takes the gang to the castle of the Twilight King himself. Connie was sold off to him in the Goblin Market.
 

Do you not know me, Constance? I have known you all your life. I’ve watched you from afar.
–You’ve been spying on me?
No, my dear, you spied on me. Each time you peered from the window of your nursery… and longed to explore the wild, magical realm beyond… you were calling my name.
–But I don’t know your name.
Yes you do. It cannot be spoken with words, but it is written on your soul.
–Wow. You’re the Twilight King.

 
He offers Connie to stay as one of his daughters. But then Templeton shows up with an enchanted pistol, and makes a mess of the whole thing. Luckily Courtney keeps her head together, and with a little help, pulls all of their butts out of the fire. Except Templeton; he finds justice, the hard way. Connie is saved, but her heart remains in the other realm.

Courtney Crumrin and the Fire-Thief’s Tale
Courtney Crumrin & the Prince of Nowhere
 
At the end of the last story, Courtney is offered to accompany her uncle on his vacation. A chance to see the world. This book compiles two separate adventures in the Old Country, both of which share a theme. Like all young women, Courtney must learn about the ups and downs of Love. She has always been an outsider, and though she can understand her Uncle’s distance, she finds herself in a very lonely place.
 
In the first story, Courtney and her uncle visit one of Aloysius’’ oldest friends, Alexi Markovic, in Italy. (We only know this because Courtney takes a picture of the Capitoline Wolf in one panel.) Alexi’s daughter Magda is betrothed to a blowhard named Petru, who likes to go out hunting wolves.
 
But Magda’s true love is a Romany boy with beautiful dark eyes.
 
Naifeh spins a believable fable about the origins of werewolves, a “bedtime story” from Uncle Crumrin. But why that story, and why now? Courtney discovers that Jan has a secret. She tries to help when Petru and his band of merry thugs try to finish a rivalry between he and Jan in the public square, but is warned by Aloysius to mind her own business.
 

Are you gentlemen having trouble with my niece? Because I can assure you, if there’s one thing I can help with, its trouble.

 
When she finds herself surrounded by wolves in the dark forest, Courtney is given a chance to hear the other side of the tale her uncle told about the original division between wolves and dogs. When Petru’s next hunting excursion ends up with him surrounded… and bitten, Courtney also gets to see another side of magic, that of the Christian faith, as Alexi heals his daughter’s betrothed.
 
In revenge, the townsfolk gather, and prepare to annihilate the entire band of gipsys. Courtney confronts Magda. Won’t she try to protect her true love and his family from Petru’s friends? She doesn’t understand when Magda turns away.
 
The tension comes to a head as Petru escapes his cage. In the end, Courtney learns a bitter lesson, and maybe grows up a bit, but it has a tough price.
 
On their next stop, Naifeh takes a turn at vampires as Courtney and her Uncle visit the ancestral home of the Von Krumrheins. We get a look back into Ravenna’s bloodline from before Christianity, even.
 
At Castle Krumrhein, Courtney meets a dashing young man named Wolfgang that no one else seems to see. He presents someone she can confide in, someone she can talk to, about love and loneliness. He shows her around the castle, even shows her his grave. He also tells her that her uncle has been visiting the North Tower, a place most folks can only reach by helicopter. How could he know this? Wolfgang reveals beautiful black wings.
 

“You look, I don’t know, worried perhaps?”
“Existential angst.”
“…What is this?”
“Heck if I know. You’re the one who speaks German.”

 
Duchess Isolde Von Krumrhein became obsessed with immortality, the tour-guide recounts, after the death of her husband and surrounded herself with alchemists. It sounds like the Bathory legend, but this lady has much more class. As the two kids eavesdrop, they hear Aloysius confess that his heart is weak and he has only a year to live. The answer? The only cure for mortality is vampirism. But she gifts him with her last vial of elixir vitae
 

Scared? You? I find that hard to believe. What could the night hold that’s more frightening than Courtney Crumrin?

 
Aloysius notices bite marks on Courtney’s neck, and calls for help to cover her room in crosses, garlic and transubstantiated crackers. This leads to a showdown. Courtney is clouded by love, torn. Aloysius is finally revealed as the white wolf; though we all knew it was him, Courtney now understands. Too late. Aloysius is wounded and Wolfgang bites into her deeply. They are both on the edge of death. If only Uncle A. had a “get out of jail free” card this time.

 
The fifth and sixth chapters of the series is better understood if Volume 7 is read first, as it relates to Aloysius’ past. It sets up the final chapter in the saga by explaining that Aloysius took it upon himself to enforce the Law of Ravenna, and who exactly she is.
 
This is a sequel to Volume 3, The Twilight Kingdom, understandably because the two parts of Volume 4 were issued as stand-alone Courtney Crumrin Tales. You should be familiar with the events of the earlier story to fully understand what happens here.
 
A new girl moves into town, and she’s a lot like Courtney. She’s kind of goth and goes straight to the freaks’ table at lunchtime. Needless to say, the two girls hit it off right away. Maybe too soon. Holly Hart has no problem “taking advantage of the rich kids” when she casts a spell of popularity behind Courtney’s back, (something Courtney learned about the hard way when she first came to live with her uncle Aloysius,) taking snapshots of a grimoire with her phone.
 

Maybe I’m a fool, but I think every young witch should have the freedom to make mistakes. Good judgement comes from dealing with the consequences of bad judgement.

 
Holly tests Courtney’s trust after she visits the Goblin Market on her own and gets both girls wrapped up with a fae calling himself the Lord of the Hunt (though he looks more like a werewolf than Herne). The other girls at school have been telling stories about Courtney, and they’re all true. Holly meets a kid named Gareth, that used to be handsome, Alicia Oulder, who has monsters creep into her room at night and whisper that if she’s bad, they’ll eat her, and she hears the story of Axel, the kid who got eaten by Butterworm in the first comic. Holly wonders if Courtney is really an evil witch.
 
This volume is where Courtney is given a strong dose of reality, and is shown the error of her ways numerous times. The Twilight King spells it out for her. She decides to go back and try to make things right. The white wolf who once took a bullet for her (back in Vol.3) falls, protecting her again, this time from the wolves of the hunt. It is revealed not to be Aloysius, as I had wondered, but a faerie, who must now be returned, dying, to its mother. Courtney and Holly make it out of the Faerie Realm just in time to be surrounded by the wolves… and rescued by Aloysius.
 
We run into Templeton again, (who we last saw being dragged off in Volume 3,) now in a prison of his own making, in love with the daughter of the Twilight King who he had shot and killed. (He has his dinner delivered to his cave by a girl who looks an awful lot like Connie.) At the end, Woodrue finds his son, worse for the wear, dying. Templeton has now finally found atonement for his own sins. Woodrue asks, “Who has done this to you?”
 
This volume has a prologue that was presented in different order in the original comic book releases. It details the rivalry between Aloysius and Woodrue, the current leader for the “Coven of Mystics,” the Warlock Council, for the love of a young woman named Hermia Harken. We learn more of Ravenna’s history as well, her marriage and taking the name Lillian Crumrin. We discover that Aloysius is certainly an assassin of sorcerers who defy Ravenna’s Law. Since he stands between Hermia’s father, a powerful sorcerer, and the world he desires to master, Hermia is used to manipulate Aloysius. But even Woodrue cannot let that happen.
 

Woodrue: I know the whole story, Aloysius. The children she cursed. That changeling in Eerie Lane. Templeton. Tell me old friend, what does one do with a sorcerer who breaks Ravenna’s Law?
Aloysius: Might I remind you that she’s just a thirteen year old girl.
Woodrue: …Who curses other children, or leads them into the Goblin Underworld, never to be seen again. Who summoned a hobgoblin to murder a Coven Marshall !

 
We see Aloysius in bed, dying. Miss Crisp corners Courtney and tells her she cannot return to Crumrin House, but must run for safety. She will be Courtney’s chaperone. Aloysius is offered more elixir vitae for his ills, a full supply. The price? He must bring Courtney to heel or they will dispatch a new enforcer to “dole out a punishment fit for sorcerers that defy Ravenna’s Law.”

The curtain opens with a bang! Marshalls have been dispatched to bring Courtney back to the Council of Mystics to stand trial. She and Calpurnia Crisp hold them off with fireballs and glamour spells until Uncle Aloysius can arrive, but when he does, he also invites Courtney to return.
 

They want to repeal Ravenna’s Law. They want the world as their plaything. This whole goose chase is to get you out of the way.

 
Courtney hears the other side of Uncle A’s story from Miss Crisp, just as the dark side of her own came into question in the last story. Aloysius had a twin, named Wilberforce. “They went down into the goblin world one day, and only Aloysius returned.” Aloysius claimed that Wilberforce chose to stay. The true story is revealed in short segments throughout the book.
 
On the lam, Courtney and her teacher visit a witch named Cerridwen Olds, who has a way with puppets. She tells Courtney that all sorcerers have a secret power, one that doesn’t come from a book, but from the deepest part of them. Courtney asks Crisp, as they wait, watching the windows, if she found her special magic skill. She says no, but encourages that Courtney’s poetry is pretty powerful stuff. Always playing the teacher.
 
Aloysius and the Coven Marshall, Kristoff Trianne, track them down and Calpurnia is taken while Courtney retreats to the only place “where Uncle A, isn’t the biggest, baddest dude around.”
 
Courtney has a one-on-one discussion about loneliness with the Dutchess and the true identity of the White Wolf who resembles the bestial form of Aloysius is revealed. Courtney wonders if maybe Aloysius allowed his brother to stay in the Faerie realm not out of selfishness, but because he believed it to be truly the greatest treasure. Courtney tells the Dutchess she wants to stay. When Uncle A. shows up with his own army of night things, (accompanied by the little bat-faced guy,) the Dutchess says Courtney is now hers, and meets him with a host of Faeries.
 
Wilburforce takes part in the battle, but is mortally wounded. Courtney realizes she messed things up again, and sneaks out the back. But guess who’s waiting.
 
She wakes up just in time to stand trial. Alyosius says to answer truthfully, but it was a farce to begin with. A warlock named Stockbrook has maneuvered himself to the head of the Council, manipulating Woodrue who was still carrying a grudge over his son, (surrendered to the Twilight King by Aloysius,) and even back to Hector Hughs, who originally summoned Rawhead & Bloody Bones to wipe out the incumbent council, he was devising a way to rid himself of those who stood in the way of revisiting the Law of Ravanna.
 
Both Courtney and Aloysius are sentenced to exile. Aloysius makes an impassioned speech that it was truly a trial for the Council itself, which he finds guilty of misappropriating the magic of his great-great grandmother… before he falls.
 
Courtney forgets that she was ever a witch, and resolved to a life of being bullied, she even wears a cute pink dress. She is called to the hospital where her Uncle lies dying from a weak heart. But it can’t end like that can it?
 
I remember seeing a review of this volume online before I read it. It said, “I can’t believe he ended it like that!”
 
But Uncle A. always has one last trick up his sleeve. He brings Courtney her journal. He asks her to read to him as he lay on his death bed. She reads a poem. A storm brews on the horizon.
 
I can’t imagine the story ending any other way. Uncle Aloysius leaves Crumrin house to someone named Crisp in his will. The whispering shadows in Alicia’s room are gone. Gareth is pretty again, and Courtney… has a new brother named Wilberforce.
 

Who would you be now without magic? Half a person. A stranger. And me? I discovered magic when I was your age. Since then, it’s become my whole life. Take it away, and what would be left? I’d be nothing but a hollow shell. A ghost.

Courtney Crumrin Tales 1: A Portrait of the Warlock as a Young Man
Courtney Crumrin Tales 2: The League of Ordinary Gentlemen
 
This volume includes the two issues of Courtney Crumrin Tales, about Aloysius Crumrin when he was young. Courtney does not appear, but Uncle A. is such a moving character, we had to take a deeper look at his history! (These stories were published before Volume 5.)
 
The flashback begins as a dark-haired Aloysius Crumrin takes a clerk job for a man (Horace Crisp) who belongs to The Anti-Sorcery Society, (Aloysius calls it “The League of Ordinary Gentlemen,”) and soon worms his way into the secret back room where Goose Daniels (who reminds me of Lobster Johnson in Hellboy,) picks him as an assistant on a job to slay an errant sorcerer.
 
Horace’s daughter Alice tails them, worried that a sorcerer who infiltrated her Dad’s organization might be undermining their efforts. In fact, just the opposite. That’s the key to Aloysius’ past: He follows the Law of Ravenna, his grandmother’s grandmother, that states no sorcerer shall use his/her magic to gain power in the realm of everyday people. Aloysius alone has taken it upon himself to take down those who do.
 
Aloysius teaches Goose a new twist on his own motto. He says don’t bring a knife to a gunfight; but they shouldn’t have sent a swashbuckler into a sorcerer’s stronghold. Goose goes home resembling his namesake.
 

I suppose it’s in the nature of the incompetent that they have not the wit to detect their own failings.

 
The Anti-Sorcery Society soon casts its eye upon the small town of Hillsborough, a center of magical power and host to a doorway to the faerie realm. Alice and Aloysius are dispatched as an undercover team to crack the “motherlode” of evil, with the aid of Sgt. Jackson Smalls of Goose Daniels’ platoon in the war. They visit Aloysius’ family home where his secret is revealed, and Alice pops an art-nouveau cap in him.
 
Meanwhile the old men back at the A.S.S. are attempting magic for themselves. Goose is restored, just in time to be enslaved by yet another goof who has world domination in his eyes.
 
When Alice realizes her mistake, she discovers Ravenna has returned to heal her great, great grandson. The old witch relays the tale of how she came to settle in Hillsborough, fleeing persecution in the old country.
 

”Are you a witch?”
“Most certainly. But I assure you I shall neither turn you into a toad nor bathe in your blood.”
“Why not?”
“Just because I’m a witch don’t mean I ain’t a good Christian.”

 
After a showdown between Aloysius and Alice, and an ignorant H.W. Crisp, Fred Grosvenor the rogue new warlock, and his army of supporters, our favorite hobgoblin, Butterworm, who travelled the secret ways with Ravenna, is on site to clean up the mess.
 
In the end things don’t work out for the young couple, but Alice does fall in love. This explains the bloodline to Calpurnia, who Courtney knows as Miss Crisp.